Did your child ever complain that you don’t love them before slamming their bedroom door shut?
Million of parent does not understand why their children don’t believe they are loved and supported. Research reveals that Children immature minds often get the opposite message to what you intend.
For children, actions speaks louder than words. A parent’s body language influences children in many ways your would find a bit surprising. When you say you love them but sending a negative body language, the children gets a completely different message that affect their behavior, self-esteem and confidence.
You could try to send hidden messages to your children by :
1. Use nicknames
The hidden message is ‘Its safe’
Studies shows that when a children who used to called by their nicknames feel anxious when parent call them by their full names. Calling them by their full names are commonly used when they are being disciplined.
2. Less multi-tasking
The hidden message is ‘I am listening’
Children tend to think that parent did not listen and does not care to what they are saying when parents are busy doing something while they pour out their saying. So try to take a moment to take interest, ask question and focus your attention on your children so they know that you are actually listening.
3. Get on their level
The hidden message is ‘I think what you are saying is important’
When parents keep telling their children what to do, think and feel, they tend to feel that their thoughts, opinion and feeling are not important. So when you are talking to them, kneel down to your child’s level and maintain eye contact to prove that you are taking their opinion seriously.
4. Making contact
The hidden message is ‘I love you’
Physical contact, a stroke on the back, a hand on her arm or a hug is a great way to convince your child that you love her. To them its a sign that you are accepting and supporting and love them.
5. Leaving positive notes
The hidden message is ‘I encourage and support you’
As parent try to tell their children what they cannot do, what they should be doing; often to children its a sign of they making mistake. So try making compliments that helps them to feel he is doing a great job.
6. Include in tasks
The hidden message is ‘I treasure your opinion’
Include him in your task that would make him feel important and special. Simple example would be allowing the children to choose what they would like for dinner and take them to the market to pick the food and let him help prepare the meal.
7. Share imperfection
The hidden message is ‘I appreciate your responsibility’
In cases where your mistakes affect your children, let them know that mistake and what your plan to correct it. By doing this, you encourage your child to take responsibility.